Apu Kapadia's Too-Good-To-Be-True Nofoldem Holdem Tables for Pre-Flop Odds

Pre-Flop Hole Card Winning Odds/Probabilities:
Given hole cards XY in an n-player Texas Holdem game, with no cards on the table, what is the probability that XY will beat all other n-1 hole cards after the river?

Actually winning your hands depends on many more factors (as my poker buddies will be quick to point out!)—knowing when to fold on flop/turn/river (even if you started out well), your betting strategy (maybe you're good at bluffing people out), what you think your opponents have (this is probably the most important), the blinds, etc. Poker is complicated. These tables just tell you how good your hole cards are (statistically) just after the deal, which may help you decide whether it's worth paying for the flop or not. That is all.

Historical note:
These statistics were the result of a fun, personal coding project on the side during grad school at the University of Illinois. Enough people are finding this page useful, and so I've decided to keep the page up. May the odds be with you.